Alice – The Extraordinary Woman Who Loved

silver_haired_woman

Fall is here! I’m excited to be outside! I was walking in a park thinking to myself, “Aren’t I lucky to be here, feeling the sun and breeze on my face.” I passed a woman sitting on a park bench who looked sad. I made a few more circles in the park and each time I passed her I noticed more about her. She had amazing bright white hair, sitting on the park bench knees pulled into her chest and blank look of pain on her face. As I kept passing her by my heart strings were tugged a little more each time. Finally my last circle she was still sitting there and I had to stop.

Stepping close to her I said, “Are you alright?” Not even lifting her eyes off the pavement she said, “No, I’m tired.” Crying like I’d just poked a fountain that was ready to burst, she said, “I’m tired. I don’t want to do this anymore.” What happened over the next hour truly threw me for a loop. I know that it’s the worlds game to seem cool and not surprised by anything, however her story surprised me. I’d like to introduce to Alice, we’ll call her Alice.

Alice was at the park as a part of her bucket list wishes before she jumped into the St. John’s River ending her life. Today was THE day. My heart ripped from my chest and went out to her’s. She told me why she was tired of living. Pain body, heartache, loss of loved ones and a sense of intense pain from soul to heart and into her body. I knew why I was meant to stop and share this afternoon with her. She was beautiful! Her heart and soul shone brightly when she spoke of the good times. She threw her head back and laughed as she recounted funny times and people she loved. Tears streamed down her face as she said, “… and now I am invisible.” To me she was anything but invisible. I could see how beautiful she was, her white hair glowing in the sunshine and moving with the breeze. She had a big heart. She’d spent years bravely sharing it with others. She’d had her heart broken and stomped on one to many times. Now she was telling me how tired she was of giving it to the world. The world had paid her back with pain. I saw compassion and love in her eyes. I saw the value of who she was. She couldn’t see it. Her eyes only saw and felt pain. She just wanted it to end. Pain so great that even the strongest meds didn’t help for more than an hour or two each day.

I shared with her what I saw in her, she blushed like a like a school girl. Even though now she’s 50 something, for a moment she looked like she was 10. For a split second the long haired girl of the 60’s was back and a smile spread from ear to ear. She dropped her eyes and whispered, “Thank you. I haven’t heard a compliment in a long time.” It was beautiful to hear her speak. Moving between pain, love, laughter and tears like an passionate dance packed full of heart. She was lovely. When her story was just about done, I invited her to yoga as my gift to her. She accepted. We made a date. I hope she shows up. I hope that she chose life today. Digging deep within herself to find the brave parts of her that aren’t tired. The parts still willing to give life a go. I hope that we all have the courage to share our hearts. Now, not tomorrow because now is the only moment we have. To follow our intuition when it speaks to us. To love on people just because they are people. I tend to wear my heart on my sleeve so I could relate with her. I know what feeling invisible feels like. Rejection, heartache and pain have visited me as well. Listening to Alice may have saved her life.

I saw her. I stopped and told her that I saw her. I hugged her pain body with mine. Gave her all the love and compassion I had. Pulling away from the hug I said, “I see you”.  Our blue eyes locked and it was magic. She felt seen. Today really see with your eyes, ears and heart the people in front of you.  All they may need to stay alive is you telling them, “I see you”. Don’t be afraid to open your heart. Yeah. It might get hurt, that much is true. If I didn’t open my heart to Alice though she may not have lived.

Advertisements

As Much as I Dream

“Only as high as I can reach I can grow,

Only as far as I can seek can I go,

Only as deep as I look can I see,

Only as much as I dream can I be.”

Light bulb moment: I am living my dream life; as a life coach, writer, and yogi. I know it’s true because; today all the lights were on, heart beating fast, and proudly wearing a 100 watt smile. Viola! I’ve lived a dream day! It’s true, “only as much as I dream can I be.” Please tell me, what’s your dream?

Pure Poetry: The Whisper of You

I saw this photo. I was inspired. I couldn’t tear my eyes away for several minutes. There are no lines, verses, or even a rhythm and yet it’s poetry. I know the woman in the photo. I thought to myself, “This is only a whisper of you“. She is an inspiration. She has had many challenges in her life, daily she takes herself on and tackles them one by one. Looking at this amazing photo, you can barely see her as she blends into the landscape. It reminds me of how easy it is to live a life that’s “barely there”, blending into the surface of your own personal landscape. Melting into the day-to-day tasks of things to do, without a dream or purpose. The photographer is a genius! He or she captured this beautiful woman’s essence. There’s a lot to be learned from this photo. If I didn’t know her, I’d wonder, “What lights her up? What’s her story?” We all have stories. We’ve all been through years of fears and disappointments, smiles, and joys. It’s what we choose to make of the experiences that define and re-fine who we are.

“Don’t ever be someone else’s slogan, because you are pure poetry.” This photograph is poetry. There’s movement, grace, the past, future and present within the colors. Looking at her she whispers poetry to me. She says, “I’m smiling at my dreams.” I make up she’s learned from her past and willing to walk with courage in the present.  This is a memorial to all those who feel remiss and like they haven’t lived at all, or worse that they survived a life time, but never lived a day. Don’t settle for blending in or mediocrity. This is a call to live courageously!

You’re Extra-Ordinary!

I received a beautiful birthday card last month. It brought me to tears and gave me laughter when I needed it the most. It was a vibrant and ornate  butterfly set on a white back round with two words beneath it’s wings, “You’re Extraordinary!” When I first opened the card I thought, “Oh, that’s nice.” I placed it next to my jewelry box along with the other cards. Then a couple of days later I was putting on my earrings and I saw the card again. I took notice of the vibrant colors and intricate detail of the butterfly’s wings. They were bigger than the small body. They had a huge wing span. Such detail and grace with each curve and swoop. Whoever drew that butterfly must have drawn it just for me, for in that moment I saw me in the butterfly. Ready and willing to spread my wings and fly. For so long bound and now yet again I choose to be free!

You can only truly appreciate freedom when you’ve been bound. Within each limitation is a chance for you to be free. There is a moment when you know it’s time to break free, frankly it maybe your only chance. When are you going to say, “No!” to what’s holding you back and keeping you confused? Say, “Yes!” to that which sets you free and moves you forward! The practice of yoga teaches us to be present. It is a practice I hold near and dear to my heart. Get present! Break free!