Good Bye Apathy

Goodbye apathy. Breathing in and breathing out, breathing this breath just barely making it to the next one. I’m not trying, because trying is lying. Goodbye apathy. Goodbye stale thinking that held me back. Goodbye old thinking that told me lies. Goodbye worn out stories that played over, over and over like a broken record in my head. Goodbye apathy. So long to the days when circumstance tossed me ’round like the ocean. Closing the cover on the book bound with stories of tradition and “should be’s”. Turning my back to the old ways, because they worked good yesterday. Yesterday was a time before…a time before…this time.

This time is unwritten. There is no cover to this book. It has no title. There are scrape pieces of paper with scribbling on them. The pages are wrinkled, because they’ve been touched thousands of times. The edges worn from being held and written…written…and re-written on. Then blotted out, nearly torn out, and then started again.

Courage. Courage is, not having the cover to the book and writing anyways. Courage is, standing to speak when everyone else is silent. Courage, is when your heart is beating so loudly you swear everyone can hear it; then, standing to your feet, pulling your shoulders back and with a voice of conviction speak your truth. Courage is, the small moments when you dare to look someone in the eye, give them a hug, and say, “I know girl. I’ve been there too”. Courage is in the space and silence between one person’s pause and the next person’s voice.

This time is unwritten. Inquiry on every side. Answers are few. Searching for the answers only to find another question that leads to another page filled with markings they call words; placed on a something they call paper, which came from a paper mill, which came from a forest filled with trees. Life cut down, chopped up, run through machines and quickly into a store, they call this paper. Interesting isn’t it?

Allowing unwritten is, saying goodbye to apathy. Goodbye to smiles that are forced which are really frowns upside down. Goodbye to ‘should be and have to’. Allowing unwritten is pages worn, torn, without title, posh, or binding. Unwritten is innovative passion in action. The willingness to come undone. The courage to write even when there are no words. Goodbye apathy. Break the silence. Write what must be written. Say hello to freedom. Goodbye apathy!

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